Breathe In Now
by uname
Summary: Oneshot. What happened to Darcy after she left Spinner at the dance? Sparcy and Palex mentioned.


**_Breathe In Now_  
Author:** uname  
**Rating:** T (there's one swear, does that count?)  
**Pairing(s):** Alex & Darcy friendship, Sparcy and Palex.  
**Summary:** One-shot. What happened to Darcy after she left Spinner at the dance? (Sparcy and Palex mentioned.)  
**Title credit: **I was pretty much stumped for a title, and I was listening to "Breathe In Now" by George while writing, so there you go.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Degrassi, didja hear?  
**Note: **This picks up after Darcy left Spinner at the dance. I hated Darcy during the finale, but I couldn't get this out of my head. Oh, and R&R - but be kind, this is my first Degrassi fic (and hey, the first fic I've ever bothered to post here!)

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Through the crowd, out the foyer, past the double doors.

Dragging her feet until she reached the bottom steps of Degrassi, Darcy felt like the antithesis of everything she had been the entire school year. Right now she was defeated, lonely, and incredibly pissed.

She collapsed onto the last step, and leaned her head against the railing, squeezing her eyes shut to keep from crying. She couldn't help the strangled sob that escaped as she cursed herself for being so blind, so stupid.

Darcy Edwards was an idiot.

She felt like she was trapped in a stupid 80s teen movie. The big betrayal, found out at the big dance, after her big performance. Complete with smiling happy people dancing in the background, not noticing her dramatic scene with Spinner. Alone, left to pick up the pieces of her broken heart, still in her cheesy performance outfit and without a ride home for the next couple hours.

She wished her parents never had the genius idea of moving to Toronto. Or at least that she had never gone to Degrassi. She was completely happy before. Sure, life was quiet and slightly boring, but she'd take that over the train wreck that had been the last two years.

Her first year there was drama enough. Kissing (and being stalked by) the school psycho. Storming out of the school play. Injuring the head cheerleader.

This year was supposed to be different. She made a promise to herself that she'd just focus on school, Spirit Squad and Friendship Club.

Then she had to go and meet _him_.

Spinner Mason.

Things were perfect at first, but like jumping off a cliff, things went bad – _quickly_.

She was an idiot.

Why did she keep going back to him? It's almost like she _liked_ getting hurt, although she couldn't really associate happiness with what she was feeling right now.

She _was_ happy, sure, until about 5 minutes ago when she found out that "the greatest boyfriend ever" was a cheating, lying jerk.

Why care about your vows to God when Paige Michalchuk – the school lesbian – wants to be straight for a night?

She heard the doors to Degrassi swing open and footsteps go down the steps. She wiped away her tears, praying it wasn't Spinner.

"Hey Mary, trippy outfit," a voice said. Darcy looked up and saw Alex Nunez trotting down the steps. She quickly turned away; she wasn't in the mood to be ridiculed.

"Shouldn't you be inside?" Darcy asked, hoping Alex would take the hint and leave her alone.

"Not really my scene," Alex answered, stopping in front of her. Darcy felt like she was being examined by Alex. She could only imagine how she terrible looked; she was in her 60s outfit, her hair still immaculately done, but her face was probably streaked with hastily dried tears.

Alex's eyebrows furrowed a bit, concern covering her features. She shifted on her feet, looking like she was uncomfortable with comforting a crying person. "You okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Darcy mumbled, looking at the ground.

Alex lazily plopped down beside her. "I'm not blind. You look like Tammy Faye after getting trapped in a time machine," she said, joking to hide her sympathy.

"Thanks," Darcy said plainly.

"You and the Furby?" Alex asked, reading her mind.

Darcy closed her eyes, not really in the mood to get into a fight. She slowly opened them and nodded. "…Spinner and I are over," Darcy said quietly, still not believing it herself.

"Yeah, me and Paige are too," Alex said, giving a short-lived laugh. Darcy stiffened at her name, not sure if she wanted to tell her about what Paige and Spinner did.

Alex noticed this. "Right. You're probably not someone who's too comfortable talking to a lesbian, eh, Mary?" Alex said, rolling her eyes, but making no effort to move from her spot.

Darcy sighed, used to hearing false assumptions made about her. "Just because I'm in Friendship Club doesn't mean I'm homophobic, Alex."

Alex smiled. "Good to know. I'm kinda getting sick of girls avoiding me 'cause they think I'll hit on them or something. I'm a lesbian, not Spin…yeah, probably not ready for jokes, are we?"

Darcy glared, and then leaned her head against the rail again. Maybe if she ignored her, Alex would go away…

Some students ran down the steps, talking and laughing about the hundreds of house parties that were sure to happen that night. If she wasn't so Christian, she probably would've ripped into them – how _dare_ they be so happy when she felt like crap?

Darcy looked up at the sky, still blue, although the sun was beginning to set.

It should be grey. It should be raining.

Alex spoke up again as the last kid flew by. "We broke up a couple days ago. At the mall – kind of an asshole move on my part. I dumped her at her own personal Disneyland. But we were going in different directions, and as much as I wanted it to work, it would've been impossible. I guess I still care about her though," she said, shrugging like it was no big deal, but Darcy could tell it was a front.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Well, the non-verbals aren't really working for me. And I _know_ it's killing you too. Don't get me wrong, I like things quiet – but I can pretty much hear you thinking," she smirked. "Your turn. Why did you and the Furby break up?"

"He sucks," she answered flatly.

Alex laughed. "What is it with girls and Spinner, anyway? I mean, he's _not even that hot_. I know I'm not the best judge of this kind of thing, but I still have eyes."

"Ask Paige," Darcy mumbled. Alex looked at her quizzically, before nodding.

"Yeah, well, between Spinner and Mr. Oleander, Paige's taste in men hasn't been very impressive. Her taste in women though…" Alex trailed off, nudging Darcy.

She couldn't help herself; she smiled.

For some reason, she felt herself relax. Alex seemed genuinely concerned; if Paige was good for anything, at least she made Alex less scary.

If she was going to vent to anyone, it might as well be Alex. They were at least in the same boat.

"What would you do if the person who you cared about did something _terrible_. Like, royally screwed up?"

Alex shrugged, not really sure how to answer. "I don't know…how bad is it?"

"It _felt_ like he killed my cat," Darcy said, dryly.

"Gotcha. Well, do you love him?"

Darcy shook her head, but Alex arched an eyebrow. "I don't want to," she admitted, quietly.

"Doesn't matter. Do you think he loves you?"

"I don't know; he says he does, but-"

"-he keeps messing things up?"

"Yeah."

"What did he do?"

Darcy closed her eyes. The ring. The promises. The texts. The lies.

"I was an idiot," she started, not really sure she wanted to hear it out loud. "I was jealous and crazy. I tried to get over his past, but I couldn't. Then things got better. It was almost back to the way it used to be - at least that's what I thought. I found out he hooked up with someone else," she said, almost saying Paige's name. "Sex and all. There I was, waiting for him to come over so we could fix things, and there he was, being a slut. And here's the best part – he did this after he became a virgin again."

Alex snorted, trying to suppress her laughter. "He became a virgin again? He had a revirginizing ceremony!"

"Alex," Darcy said harshly.

"Fine," she said, chuckling. "Well, okay, from the sounds of it, Spinner deserves a kick in the face. He doesn't deserve your forgiveness. But I'm sure you'll still give it anyway."

Slightly offended, Darcy pouted. "Why?"

"Because you're Darcy – you're _nice_, you care about people, and for whatever sick reason, you still love the idiot," she said seriously, as if it was common knowledge. "And from what I've seen, he loves you. A lot. Look, Spinner does stupid things – he's a moron by nature, so it's not entirely his fault. But he loves you. And I'm sure he's somewhere inside, holding himself and crying over losing you."

Darcy shifted uncomfortably. Hearing Spinner loved her from him was one thing; hearing it from a near-stranger was another. "I don't know about that," she said, not sure what to say.

"Of course, I barely know you, so I _could_ be lying to you," Alex offered, noticing Darcy's confusion. "Look, whatever happens, you'll be alright. You seem like a smart kid. You got Jesus on your side and shit like that."

Darcy smiled and rolled her eyes, before looking down at the ground. She let what Alex said sink in.

Even though she hated the fact that she loved him as much as she did, she also knew there was a good chance she'd forgive him – but when was a different question.

"Hey, you called me 'Darcy'," she remembered, laughing at Alex's slip-up.

"Shut up." Alex scowled. She leaned back on the steps, not very impressed with herself.

Darcy leaned back as well, turning to look at Alex. "What are you going to do about Paige?"

"Nothing, probably." She sighed, sadly. "I have to figure things out for myself before I start dumping my issues on someone else again."

Darcy considered telling her about Paige and Spinner, but didn't have the heart. Although she hid it well, she could tell that Alex was having an internal struggle between staying there with her, or running back into the school and finding Paige.

"You two seemed really into each other," she offered, hoping to give Alex the same bit of hope she had given her.

"Yep, we were," Alex agreed. "But school's over, things are going to change - fast. I should probably keep my options open. For the sake of the female race."

"Plenty of fish in the sea?" Darcy asked, laughing.

"I kinda just want the one 'fish', actually," Alex admitted, shrugging. "But it's okay. I'll sort through all my emotional crap and when I'm done, see if she's still interested. Maybe. Hey, I might be over her before all that happens."

"Doubt it," Darcy said, in sing-song. Alex playfully hit her shoulder.

More kids began coming out of the building. Looking down at her watch, she was surprised to see it was almost the end of the dance. "I should probably go back in; I have to change and help with take down."

"And I should probably continue being really emo and leave," Alex joked. She stood, dusting her pants off.

"You'll be okay?" Alex asked, helping Darcy up. She nodded. "Good."

"Why are you being nice to me?" Darcy asked, before Alex left. She was slightly confused by what just happened. To the outsider, they probably looked like great friends – and honestly, it almost felt like she had known Alex for forever.

Alex shrugged, stuffing her hands back into her pockets. "I don't really have a shot in hell at getting into heaven, so I figured I'd suck up a little to a saint, see how that goes."

Darcy laughed. "I'll put in a good word for you."

Alex smiled and made her way towards the bus stop.

"Hey, Alex!" Darcy called out. Alex turned around. "Congratulations – grad's tomorrow and all. And thanks for the talk," she added.

"No problem. See you around, Mary," Alex said, starting to walk away.

Making her way up the steps to Degrassi, Darcy thought about the last two years.

She wouldn't have found God if she hadn't felt so guilty about what happened to Rick. If she hadn't stormed out on the school play, she would have never joined Friendship Club. Helping the girls hurt Paige – well, right now, she felt pretty proud about it. But she knew it made her realize how superficial her life was at the time.

And meeting Spinner Mason…what _hadn't_ she learned about herself? She learned she could sit through two hours of stupid movies for the sake of a guy. She learned she could clobber any guy at laser tag. She learned that she could put up with stupid sexiest raps and fart jokes, because she'd get to hear his hopes fears about the future.

She found someone she could _love_, even if he put her through a rollercoaster of emotions.

Alex was right. Pushing through the front doors, Darcy knew that yes, she was going to hurt for a while. But everything was going to be alright.


End file.
